When The Character Takes Over

She turned the lights down and lit a few candles. Carlos stepped behind her and grabbed her around the waist. He kissed her neck a few times and she succumbed to his caress. They both slipped out of their shirts and pants while the heavy petting continued. Eleanor pulled the covers back as Carlos slipped down her shockingly red panties.

“I want to kiss you all over and make sweet love to you,” Carlos said.

Eleanor cooed.

“You’re making me so hot right now,” he said. “I just want to … you know what I can’t do this.”

Uh … Carlos stopped and looked up into this sky … “Stop doing that.”

“Stop doing what?” Eleanor asked quietly.

“No,” he said, “I’m talking to you. I see what you are doing and I’m done.”

He was talking to nobody in particular when …

“No, I’m talking to you,” he said and pointed at the writer of the story. “That’s right. You.”

“Me,” I said.

“Oh sweet Jesus god! Can we just drop it,” he said. “Yes, you. I’m talking to you, Mr. Writer Man.”

“But you’re a character in my story,” I said. “I don’t think it’s proper to talk to me as I’m writing the story.”

Carlos pulled his shirt back on.

“Would you just stop with the story for a minute,” Carlos said. “I’m done with this porn stuff.”

“It’s not porn,” I said. “Technically it’s erotica.”

“Whatever you call it. I don’t want to do it anymore. Can’t you like put me in a western or a sci-fi out there exploring alien nations or something.”


“Great. Well do that then.”

Carlos slipped his shirt off and kissed the green scaly neck of Commander Grickox from the planet Nereb. She cooed and wrapped two of her six arms around …

“No,” Carlos said. “You’re doing it again. It’s still porn, just alien porn.”

“I don’t understand.”

“No shit,” Carlos said. “And by the way, my name is Wayne, not Carlos.”

“But Wayne isn’t exactly a sexy name,” I said.

“That’s okay. My name is Wayne. And has a Wayne I want to do something fun and adventurous and not just wrap my arms around waists and kiss slowly and rubbing my “throbbing member on OR in anything. Got it. ”

“My god, Wayne, when you say it like that,” I said.

“Look, Mr. Writer Man, can I call you that?”

“Sure,” I said.

“I know you’re new to this whole writing thing — ”

“Actually I’ve been writing for quite a while,” I interjected.

“Please don’t interrupt me,” he said.

“Sorry. Continue.”

“I’m tired of just being a piece of meat. I want to live. I want to discover. I want to expand my mind. Porn is just not doing it anymore. I don’t want to be Carlos. I want to be me: Wayne.”

“I’ll admit that this is my first time to write erotica. I’ve never even read it really. I don’t know what I’m doing. Maybe I could start with a scene at the restaurant first then you guys could do—“

“You are not listening, Mr. Writer Man. I don’t want porn or erotica or chick-lit or whatever the hell you want to call this.”

“Okay, I get it,” I said. “I’ll work on something else with a little less sex. Maybe we could make you a Baptist preacher or something.”

“Look I want adventure,” he said. “ I don’t want to be dead inside. Just write me in something fun. In the meantime, I’ll be in my trailer.”

“Sounds good,” I said. “I’ll get right on it. It’s just that you don’t have a trailer. You aren’t even really real … oh never mind.”

Somewhere on the planet Nereb, Wayne was paying his tab …



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